The Long Weekend

Already Tuesday.. Will have to bid the beautiful long weekend farewell in just a few hours.. Tomorrow it’s back to work with the realization that I did not really manage to do any work at all.. Haha.. So much plans yet the lazy mood gets the better of you..

The bulk of my weekend was spent at Tiara Beach Resort at Port Dickson. The water park was great. Unfortunately, there is where the good stopped. Everything else about that place was substandard. The lights were faulty. The master bedroom’s bathroom door could not be closed properly. The power cord for the electric kettle was too short, thus we had to boil water on the floor instead of the kitchen top. Worst of all, the water was all yellowish and rusty. It wasn’t cheap too. I really recommend all decent travellers NOT to patronize that place. Don’t even get me started on the other supposed “facilities” that the resort provided.

Still, it was a good break. I was the driver/photographer/babysitter designate for the trip. It was wonderful to see my nephews and niece enjoying themselves in the waters. I’ll upload the pictures soon enough. They played as if there were no tomorrow and by the time we got back to the hotel room, they were too exhausted to stay awake. I had fun too frolicking in the water. Sitting on a water tube and just floating around brought unbridled feelings of relaxation and bliss. Why can’t it be like that everyday?

Going away for the weekend meant I missed my first game for the Redbacks. I needed the break and part of me was feeling physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I considered stopping playing altogether. The knee is really getting worse. I’m not enjoying my game and playing these days actually gives me more confusion than relief. With work and studies adding unwelcomed added strain, I felt I was on the verge of breaking apart. But thankfully, the time away has given me time to think over things and attain a clearer picture of my life in general. As I was reading a book about Positive Psychology (the art of happiness, it’s a course book for one of the modules I’m taking at uniSIM this semester) during the family’s rest period, I realized that there will always be a solution to everything. I’ve been a little uptight lately and all I need is just to find that bit of enjoyment in every little thing that I do.

If I’m unhappy about my weight, I should just focus on my diet and exercising.. and be patient if results do not come instantaneously.

If I’m unhappy about work and that I have too much to complete, I should just use my spare time to try and finish things, one task at a time.. not use it to legendarize myself on XBOX 360.

If I’m unhappy about the assignments that I have to do, I should just remind myself that I signed up for the bloody course in the first place and it’s a commitment that I have dedicated myself to. It’s about personal fulfillment and that means sacrifice.

If I’m unhappy about how I suck at football lately, I should just… admit that I suck! Haha.. Then I must try to make things better. Get more practice, play more.. Rehabilitate the knee and stuff like that..

Besides all that, I’m pretty happy with my life so I ask myself?

WHAT’S THE PROBLEM????

Opening My Eyes

I’m trying to keep my eyes open. It has been a long day. Stayed up late to watch the match between Manchester United and Chelski. It was worth every second. I was hopeful United would score a victory, but a three goal triumph was more than I expected. Thank you Red Devils. You put a gloss on my weekend which was becoming a little blue.

Redbacks lost to Apex Rangers. It hurt to lose in such a manner. It felt worse than when Vietnam beat Singapore in the recently concluded ASEAN Football Championship. We played so well in that game. Really, I felt it was our best performance this year. I was quite bewildered as to how Apex Rangers are undefeated in the league. Maybe they were overconfident. Or is it because they were having an off-day. It’s no mystery that we always raise our game against stronger opponents. Whatever the reason, it didn’t change the fact that we lost. Sometimes I rather have my team get whacked left right centre than to lose a game we should have won comfortably by a last-minute goal. Grr..

Have not had any inspiration to blog lately. Doing this to let off some steam. Adjusting back to working has been quite challenging. I find myself running out of time whenever I do my lessons. A lesson designed for 2 periods stretches to 3 periods. In a time-scarce teaching environment like now, that is a sin to commit. I’m already behind most of my colleagues in terms of syllabus covered, but I’m not too bothered. I really want to make sure that my pupils have a good grasp of things before we move on the the more difficult stuff. Still, I’m expecting to speed things up for the rest of this week.

This year will be a challenging year indeed. My pupils remain as diversified as ever. I have a boy who suffers from Attention Deficient Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). A bona fide case too. He’s always wandering off to whatever world he has created in his head. Gets bored and distracted easily. Having to grab his attention back is so exhausting. On top of that, I have a boy who suffers from cerebral palsy. As such, he is wheelchair-bound. He comes from a complicated family. Trust me, the word “complicated” is an understatement. When I look at him, I can’t help but feel a little helpless and very humbled. I can never understand the troubles he goes through. I was busy jumping around and making a nuisance of myself at his age. Now, whenever I see him looking forlornly as his classmates go through the drills in P.E., I feel so guilty. Guilty at the gripes I used to have with this world. But his smile. It’s so haunting. It’s so beautiful. When you’re a child, somehow you look at things positively. Why does aging makes one more cynical and hateful to the beauties that Allah has granted us in this world?

My Sepaktakraw Club has its first training session today. With the competition only a month away, I’m genuinely worried. I did not schedule any training during the holidays because of poor attendance in the past and at the same time, I really didn’t want to be anywhere near school during my break. I was assuming that the competition would be held somewhere in March or April, but since the Asian Youth Games will be held this year, the powers at be decided that all sporting events will be brought forward. It’s going to be an uphill task to get the boys ready for the challenge. By the end of the session, I had a good feeling that the boys will come good. They always do. I have a great coach and the boys have great spirit. We’ll be sending out a very young Junior team this year. We’re not expecting much from them but we know that the exposure will do them a world of good. Still, the Junior team has always been the one to throw up a few surprises. I’m a little desperate for the team to continue its winning ways. It’s my first year taking full control of the club. Appreciate Soffian’s trust in me.

Something happened during training though. As the boys were going through their routines, I noticed a Primary 4 boy sitting by himself, looking distraught. I approached him and asked him what happened. In a broken voice, he lamented that he felt bad. He felt bad because he wasn’t any good at sepaktakraw and he envied his friends who were doing very well in training. Naturally, one who struggles would incur the wrath of the coach. Trust me, the coach can be vocal at times and if you don’t have a strong will, you’d probably crumble at the first test.

Being the teacher, I began spewing out all sorts of supposedly motivational stuff. You know, the sermon about how you should never give up. That it takes time for you to be good at something. Not everyone is the same. Some is more talented than the others. You have to work really hard to be really good. Patience is key. I suppose I can relate to his situation. I was one of those boys when I was in my primary school’s Sepaktakraw Club as well. I told Niza than I’m a kaki bangku by nature, which means I sucked at ball games that involved my feet. I felt hopeless too because no matter how hard I tried, it seems that I could never be as good as other naturally talented individuals. It’s funny that I was being this caring figure when just a few days ago, I blasted the same boy because I caught him terrorizing pupils around school by carrying a pen-knife in his pocket. He came across as a trouble-maker, some teachers telling me that he is a repeat offender.

After giving him a pep talk, he re-joined the training and I could see him putting in extra effort. He looked really worn out by the end of it. As I gave the team a debriefing, I caught a glimpse of the boy from the corner of my eye. He was doing something familiar. He had his hands cupped together and he was muttering a few words under his breath. Yup, I believe he was praying. A 10 year old boy praying. It struck me because when I was his age, I don’t really cup my hands that often. Really didn’t fit the profile of the school gangster wannabe that many people felt he was. Either way, I was humbled that a boy his age already has Allah close to his heart. I don’t know if he will be coming back for the next training session. I hope he will. Would love to see how he develops.

Never judge a book by its cover. At the same time, do not be quick to buy a book just because your friend said it’s really good. Discover.