Bila Cinta Didusta…

Last Sunday, I was chatting with a close friend at a coffee shop. We engaged in the usual guy talk and inevitably we got around to talking about his recent break-up with his girlfriend of 4 years. As we exchanged opinions on the topic, it brought back many memories of my own experiences.

A few talking points stood out in my mind. Some of the things he said struck a chord with me.

“She moved on so quickly man. Just a week after we broke up, she already found someone new. She was gushing all about it in her blog. Four years! Over just like that.”

Bro, when someone has made up her mind about leaving you, they are already mentally and emotionally prepared to move on with their lives. Deal with it. Also, I know now that nothing much can be gained from reading the blog of an old beau. She knows that you would most probably still be reading her blog. To openly declare to the entire cyber-world is a strong statement of intent. My pal lamented that she didn’t need to do that. I just told him it’s her blog, so in principle, she had every right to do it. Whatever reasons she had to doing it, he just had to find a way to deal with it.

Yet the plot thickens…

“Just yesterday, she sms-ed me to tell me that she missed me. What the heck?!”

At this point, I just smiled. After choosing my words carefully, I told him there’s nothing surprising about that. I just told him to question himself why did she do it. Isn’t it strange that she did it even though she already had someone new in her life? Maybe she wasn’t getting the same emotional relief from the new man that she got from my buddy. She just needed some attention and tender loving care and unfortunately, the new man was unable to give it to her at that moment.  So the next logical thing is to call the old flame. Then again, we can only speculate. Thankfully, my bro had the common sense to rebuff her advances and gave her a piece of his mind at the same time. If he had done otherwise, I would have given him a piece of mine.

His immediate reaction to the break-up was eeriely similar to what I did. Retail therapy. I bought myself a MacBook, he bought himself a Super 4! Haha. He told me that he used the money that he was saving up to marry his old girlfriend. Aww.. like a true Malay jiwang movie. I just realized that we had more things in common than I initially thought. When he first bought the bike, I felt that he was being wasteful and silly but when I heard his reason, I felt, “OK lah, give you face ah.. Can understand la…”

He went on to tell me what his next plans were.

“I don’t want to think about girls and relationships at the moment. I’m going to focus on my studies and I’m going to work hard to earn some money of my own.”

For once, hearing him saying those goals out loud on his own accord showed me he was ready to get on with the serious things in life. Somehow, the best time for one to really develop himself is after a major setback. This “bounce-back” routine is actually one of the most powerful tools of motivation that one can get. Usually when you get dumped, you always think that it’s because the other person thinks you are not good enough, and so you embark on a journey to prove that person wrong.

“I’m going to show you that you made a big mistake!”

The best advice I can give to someone on such a conquest is to not take it with the objective of proving someone wrong. Rather, do it to push yourself. Prove yourself wrong. Go further to make your life better. Don’t bear any grudges against the old flame. Islam does not approve of us being vengeful and hateful towards others. Sometimes, things just go sour and they don’t work out. It’s a natural occurence in life.

There are always other things that are more important in life. Allah, family, career, friends and our society at large. Aim to live a meaningful holistic life. A life that is blessed by Allah.

Of course, don’t think that you are done with love. With every one that got away, there will be more who will come your way. My bro has already told me that there are a few potentials who have caught his attention. From what I gather, they like him a lot too. Why shouldn’t they? Beneath his naivity and sillyness, he is a caring and loving individual. Mindlessly devoted too. Haha.

The New Year…

We are into the first day of the new year, the Islamic year that is. This is the new year that should matter more than the celebrations that many will be involved in a few days from now. Oh well, to each his own. I glanced at the Berita Harian today and chuckled at the article on the front page. It was about this hyped-up challenge called “Cabaran Muharram”, where participants try to quit smoking. It has become the highlight for the Malay/Muslim community each new year. Participants take part in the challenge and then revel in their successes at the end of the month. Hey, there’s nothing wrong in kicking the habit. I think it’s the great thing but shouldn’t a Muharram Challenge involve people striving to be better Muslims? Shouldn’t we be looking to more holistic change rather than address something that people might pick up as easily as they drop?

Talking about being a better Muslim, I’m amazed at a recent discovery. Every new year, I always make a solemn vow to improve myself in certain areas. This year is no different. Looking back on the past year, I have identified a few areas that I wish to work on. Firstly, I want to be more dedicated to my work. I feel I’ve been a little lazy lately, finding little motivation to do certain tasks. I slipped into a comfort zone where I was happy to sit on my ass and glide by, choosing to revel in the little insignificant achievements that I attained. Instead of building on them, I rested on my laurels.

Of course it’s not the only thing I want to improve in. There are a few others, such as maintaining healthy relationships with my loved ones, being a fillial son, a loving person, stuff like that. I made the amazing discovery through attending morning sermons every Sunday at An-Nur Mosque. Every week, the ustaz will share pointers with the attendees on how to be a better Muslim. As I continue attending, I realized that whatever goals that I have set for myself in the past ties with being a better Muslim! People always think being a better Muslim is about fulfilling your daily prayer commitments, give more sedekah (donations and alms) and going for your pilgrimage to Makka. Actually, it is about that, but my point is they’re not the only things.

Being a better Muslim encompasses every aspect of life. Islam teaches us on the importance of being a fillial child to our parents. It teaches us to respect others, regardless of race, language or religion. It urges us to honour our teachers and leaders, as long as they don’t lead us to the path of destruction. It preaches to us not to be wasteful and to live moderately so that we do not let greed overpower us. It tells us to be sincere in work as it will make us more disciplined in living our lives. It teaches us of the importance of being a responsible and fair leader, either as a father or a manager. There are so many qualities that Islam leads us to do. Everything is described in the Al-Quran. I’m ashamed that I have not spent a bigger portion of my life studying the holy book and all of its lessons.

Then again, what is it with resolutions? Pradeep said something to me recently that left a mark.

“If something is so important to you, don’t wait till next year.”

Simply superb. Selamat Tahun Baru Hijrah everyone…

World War 3?

I’ve been watching the news with great interest yesterday. The one piece of news that caught my attention was the recent aerial offensive launched by Israel on the Hamas-controlled district of the Gaza Strip. It reaffirmed my belief that the people of Israel are not for peace. People will forever say that the Palestinians were the ones who started the conflict with their missile attacks. But such views are often misconstrued and misinformed. Imagine if your neighbours chased you away from your own house and claimed it as theirs. Or what if your neighbours built a wall around your property, preventing you from leaving your home. How would you react?

As the images of the carnage was beamed into my home, I can’t help but feel angry and upset about the situation. I saw toddlers and little children carried into hospitals and for a moment, I imagined they were my nieces and nephews and I felt the immense pain felt by their parents. Then again, how can I be sure their parents were around? Perhaps their parents perished in the assault. It was a unadulterated aerial offensive that involved dozens of fighter jets. An attack that killed more than 100 Palestinians. Men, women and children. Our Muslim relatives are being slaughtered and all we can do is stand by and watch. The best we can do is offer our prayers to the victims. Is hope for peace truly dead? What is the Arab League doing? With Israel vowing more vicious attacks and Hamas declaring that the dead will be avenged, the future looks very bleak indeed.

The recent terrorist attack on the hotel in Mumbai has also brought an unwelcomed by-product. There has been talk that India and Pakistan will be going to war. India demands Pakistan hand over a few suspects while Pakistan insists they will not do so until they receive more proof of any wrongdoings by its people. Personally I think it’s Pakistan’s right to question the legitimacy of the allegations. It’s funny. When I look at the people of India and Pakistan, they do not look any different. They are separated merely by their beliefs and religion. Sometimes I wonder is this talk of war really about the lack of cooperation between the two neighbours? Or is this just an opportunity for the other party to act upon years of discontent?

Then again, should I be surprised? We’ve seen civil wars tear apart Africa. We’ve seen the Dayaks and Madurese rip Aceh to shreds. North and South Korea continue to be at odds with each other. That’s another flashpoint of the world, threatening to boil over into a bloody conflict.

I’m just imagining if Palestine and Israel descend into a full-blown war, what could possibly happen? The Americans would most likely come to Israel’s aid. The Arab League might finally be stunned into action and help our their fellow Arabs. Pakistan, an ally of America would most likely seek their help in dealing with India. India, a country with immense personal pride, would go all out in war. Will the world sink into its third World War? A war that many “experts” believe, if took place, will end the world as we know it. Maybe many people would think that war would never touch this region. Then again, think of the possibility. Malaysians have been very vocal about their support of the Palestinian people. Should they take up arms and go to war, what will the Americans expect us, one of its strongest allies to do? A war involving Singapore against Malaysia? I shudder at the thought.

Let me reiterate that I am against war and all forms of violence. It’s really unfortunate that life has been riddled with conflict since the dawn of mankind. I pray every single day that everyone on Allah’s green Earth is protected from harm and living in harmony. Allah created this Earth full of beauty and splendour. Man created weapons of war and tools of destruction. Why? Because Man has this thing called “nafsu”, perhaps best described as desire. Desire for wealth, desire for power and desire for worldly possessions. As such, we have people who would do anything to get all that they desire. Including killing and destroying lives.

As the world descends into conflict, it’s strange to see that the main thing that Singaporeans care about these days is where they are going to celebrate the New Year. The Float @ Marina Bay? Sentosa? Or any other club all over the island? On the 31st of December, where many will be dancing the night away as they count down to 2009, screaming at glee at the noisy fireworks display, there will be others who will be seeking protection, screaming in fear at the noisy rockets and mortars pummeling their home, praying just to see another day.

I feel ashamed of myself for being so caught up in my bubble that I forget that there are other things that are more important in life. Many would think, “Such things do not concern me.” Yet when that unfortunate lady was killed in the Mumbai attacks, the entire country was up in arms. I just can’t help but think, do we need to see one of us murdered before we act. We feel violated, angered and outraged when one of us dies. Imagine the people of Palestine, Iraq and Afghanistan who have seen hundreds, maybe thousands of their loved ones slain.

Double standards?

A Fresh Start

A colleague of mine recently announced that he will be transferring to another school this coming 2009. I first knew Imran when I was posted to Evergreen Primary School as a contract teacher a few years back. He struck me immediately as a respectable and principled man. He was the one who introduced me to Nahar, who eventually found Redbacks Football Club that I am so deeply involved in now. Imran was a useful player for us when he was with the team. He was usually calm on the ball and always popped up with the odd goal. His exploits always bewildered Jaz and myself!

His announcement came as a shock to me. It wasn’t really a big shock because there were rumours going around that he was transferring out, but it is still one. I am so used to seeing him around school and was fortunate enough to work with him in the same level this year. In an industry dominated by women, it is always a relief to be able to engage in some man-talk with him. A fellow Man Utd supporter, our conversations were always about our beloved Red Devils. We were supposed to be in the same level again next year. With him leaving, I’m now the only man in the level and somehow I have a good idea what that will lead to.

Of all the qualities Imran has, I admire him most for his dedication to his family. He always spoke of his wife and children with pride. A few years back, we were in the same tour group that went to KL and Genting Highlands and I saw first-hand what a doting father Imran is. On top of that, Imran is a man of principles and he is unwilling to compromise on them to get ahead. In a field of work where it is becoming more politicized, I suppose it’s hard for one to get by.

A lot of things will probably be said about why he left the school but sometimes I wonder why do people engage in such speculations? I think this is a blessing from Allah for Imran. Whatever reason for the departure, I’m sure this change of environment will only be beneficial for him. I always get the impression that the people at my school tend to judge people on past actions and once you are labelled, it’s difficult for you to shake it off. This is a fresh start for him and I pray that he find success in this new journey. One thing for sure, things will be different around school without him. I mean, who’s going to ferry us to the mosque every Friday now? Haha.

It has lead me to think about my own journey as well. Who can say that I’ll be in EPS forever? Somehow life is a little dull when you don’t shake things up a bit. If I feel that I am not getting anywhere from where I’m standing, it’s just natural that I progress to another challenge, right? I feel myself slipping into that comfort zone where I’m content in flowing with the currents of the river of life. Going with such flow always lead to the ocean of mediocrity. Only when I choose to swim against the current and move upstream, will I reach the pinnacle of successes, where the greatest of all beauty and happiness await a chosen few.

Anybody wants to go swiming?

Axed-Boxed

just when i was in the midst of becoming a legend.. my journey was brought to an abrupt and cruel end.. just as i was about to shoot for my 5th goal in just 6 games for the red devils… THE SCREEN WENT BLANK! yup.. my xbox went dead on me.. well, it didn’t actually go dead.. i could still hear the noise in the background but there was no visual.. i desperately shook the cable and switched AV ports but to no avail.. i quickly gathered the set and headed to a repair shop to get the set diagnosed.. i was hoping it was just a faulty cable.. unfortunately it turned out to be more serious than that and now i’m sweating on the repair charges.. let’s hope it’s not too costly.

i am sweating for other reasons too.. i’m sick.. again.. think it’s a combination of the flu and cold again.. been feeling very warm.. sneezing non stop.. my nose is running like a tap and my head is spinning like a top.. been drinking lots of fluid with the hope of keeping the symptoms away.. yet to no avail.. again… i tried to keep away from panadols but at dusk, i succumbed to the temptation.. symptoms under control for now.. else i won’t be able to blog anyway.. this illness is a souvenir i got from my recent trip to KL.. alfiyan had a cough and i sat next to him throughout the entire 4 hour bus ride to KL.. then, soffian contracted the flu and guess who was his handsome roommate.. yup.. that’s me.. so now i have a combination of both men’s ailments.. not that i blame them of course, i was just a victim of circumstances and it was Allah’s will that i fell sick.. insyaAllah i’ll recover soon enough…

the trip itself was fun, aside from my discomfort.. besides the sickness, i suffered a sore shoulder muscle on the second night.. hurt so much.. couldn’t pinpoint any reason except for an ill-prepared swimming race at the hotel pool that morning. soffian joked that i might have been slapped by a kak fatimah rocker (pontianak) for the uninitiated.. i was so freaked that i took a photo of myself with my camera that night, dreading a “shutter-like” image.. btw, anyone saw that movie? you should.. i have the dvd if anyone would like to borrow it..

did tons of shopping there.. it was the highlight of the entire trip really.. dunno why the food is not really much to savour.. plus it was raining on two of the three days we were there so we couldn’t do much.. but we managed to complete what we set out to do and judging by the numerous plastic bags that everyone was lugging around, i believe it was a trip well spent.. it felt good to be able to spend your hard-earned money.. but it might be the last bit of shopping i do in a long time, judging by the current economic climate.. need to be more prudent than ever.. spend wisely.. it felt good to be able to buy stuff for some other people as well… only recently have i felt the joy of giving to people.. just my way of telling people they are remembered.. check out the pictures of the trip in my photostream..

till next time, let’s hope this ailment subside soon.. looking forward to this weekend… darling is having a bazaar to sell her accessories on saturday.. i’m sure she will do very well.. good luck to you dear! sunday is a much anticipated return to action for the redbacks, on top of other things.. two defeats on the trot, i’m fired up to set things right, no matter who we may come up against.. but first, i have to make sure i get well by friday at least. i remember the last time i played after just recovering from the flu, i almost collapsed on the field.. i’ll be wise not to let that repeat again.. will i be at the stadium for singapore vs vietnam.. gosh, i hope so.. go lions!

have a great week everyone.. live each day like it’s the last.. go all the way.. hold nothing back..

my footballing education…

the end of 2008 is upon us.. always a great time to reflect on the past years.. with football being the topic of interest in my life lately, i thought i should chronicle my life in this beautiful game.

i only started playing soccer when i was in primary 5. before that, i was more into basketball, given my height.. a bunch of my malay mates then got together and we decided to form a soccer team. sufhaat, fauzi, faizan, shahreil (all whom i have not heard from since, wonder where they are now) and a few others. given my familiarity with catching balls, i was made the goalkeeper of the team. i tried out for the school team one. i scored a goal in a training match but it was not enough for me to make the team. should not be surprised though, i could only toe-poke the ball (or tonjol in Malay).

when i went to sec sch, i looked forward to joining soccer. my bro had told me that i’d learn the correct way to play football from mr manan, who was the coach and malay teacher at the school. i’ve followed my bro to his trainings before when i was in pri sch. mr manan came across as a fierce but firm coach who had the respect of his players. little was i to know. i came prepared to take part in the selection process for the school team on eca orientation day, but jitters got the better of me and i joined my class for the full tour instead. LESSON: NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GAINED

thus, i became a member of the team and was soon training for the following year’s inter-school team. given my bigger size and lightning speed, the junior team coach, mr rahim decided to put me up front. as the weeks went by, i began scoring and scoring goals. i remember having a devastating shot in my left foot and i could shoot from anywhere on the pitch. i had a goalscorer’s instinct as what my elder brother said. some highlights of that year included scoring two goals in a match against the older boys. we had 5 friendly games before the actual competition where i scored in every game. it was a lot of fun in that team. i had good friends as teammates such as the late zahid, mamat, yazid and of course my partner-in-crime, hijazi. even back then he was providing all the ammunition for me. i was the team’s number 9 player, a number i was dying to wear in tribute to my footballing hero, man united striker andrew cole! LESSON: VISUALIZE AND IDOLIZE, THEN MATERIALIZE

the actual competition was forgettable. we got whacked 7-0 in our first game. by then, this idiot of a new teacher, mr tay, was involved in the team and he messed it up big time. changed the formation, moved players out of position. the worst thing of all he felt the way to motivate 14-year olds was to insult them. he labelled me hopeless. i was the top scorer of the team damn it! jaz had his fair share too. mr tay said when he “controlled the ball, it would go 10 metres away”. thankfully we were the type of players who revelled in proving people wrong. LESSON: ALWAYS BELIEVE YOU CAN, DESPITE WHAT OTHERS SAY

when i moved up to sec 3, i was looking forward to being mentored under cikgu manan. we were not expecting to be in the school team but a lack of players and mr manan’s desire to blood youngsters enabled some of us to be in the team. i was the fringe striker since we had players like firdaus and suhairi in the team. i was suffering from a lack of confidence back then and i just could not find my scoring touch. there was once before a game where mr manan said, “i pray to God you’ll score a goal”. however, he taught me something priceless. when we were at bartley sec once, he told me to observe one of their strikers (who apparently was a singapore u-17 striker) and how he played. i sat on the bench and observed his movements and skill and from there i learned that as a player, it was always important to observe the finer points of the game. LESSON: BE OPEN TO CHANGE, EMBRACE IT AND REAP ITS BENEFITS

in sec 4, mr manan moved me to the left back position. weird. i have never played at the back before and i was quite nervous. in that year, he worked on my positioning, tackling and marking. i suppose since i could not dribble and my finishing skills were rusty, that was the best place to put me. i was given the number 12 jersey. isn’t it strange that my bro wore that number before and he was the team’s defender too? since i was alien to the position, i decided to model myself after a player. who better than the best left-back ever, paolo maldini. i was on the fringes of the first team but when the competition came, i started in most of the games. the most memorable game was the first one where we beat yishun sec 4-0. i kept one of the strikers in my pocket and he was so frustrated at one point that he punched me in the back. it went unpunished. after the game, mr manan told me that the frustrated player was a national age group striker. Wow. LESSON: REPUTATION DON’T MATTER, IT’S ALL ABOUT HEART

when i left school for sing poly, i sort of hung up my boots. i thought i was done with the game and focused on my studies. after a few months i found that my clothes were getting tighter and i was always short of breath. it was then i realized i needed a way back into the game. jaz threw me a lifeline. he was working at the national library when he stumbled upon a group of men playing football at a patch of grass where SMU now stands. thus, my love affair with stamford fc started. it was my first social team and i still go for kickabouts with them till this very day. LESSON: PASSION NEVER DIES

apart from that, the other defining moment of my life came when azmi suggested that we should train with changkat csc. we lived in the north and we travelled all the way to tampines to play with them. azmi, jaz, the late zahid and myself. the trainings were more structured and the games were tougher. we were in the junior team where i continued playing in the backline. i learned a lot in my time there. it could have been the place when i learned the most. i was dubbed “di canio”, simply because i liked to wear white boots and even though i could not dribble, i was capable of producing moments of exceptional, if not accidental “brilliance”. haha. we were a part of the changkat juniors, a team brimming with superb young players. apart from us, there were super dribbler and finisher yan, midfield general salleh and man mountain “power card” khairul. among many others. LESSON: PLAY WITH BETTER PLAYERS AND YOU’LL BE A BETTER ONE

the frequent footballing appointments meant that at that stage of my life, i was playing football almost 4 times a week. my time with changkat ended when i was overlooked for the islandwide league team, despite being one of the regular attendees. i even turned up for the games and always had my $50 (the registration fee for the team) in my wallet to pay abang khalid should he decide to include me in the team. as the games went on, i realized that i was never going to make the team. when i looked at the players in the list who did not bother to turn up, it pained me because i was still seen as not being good enough for the team. even players such as azmi and jaz were given token appearances, albeit out of position. we left, never to be seen again. regardless, i still have the utmost respect for abang khalid. i understand it must have been difficult to keep so many players in the team happy. after all, he was the one who taught me how to nutmeg players. LESSON: WHEN YOU’VE REACHED THE PEAK OF ONE MOUNTAIN, IT’S TIME TO CLIMB A HIGHER ONE.

after years of self-doubt, i decided to try out for the s-league teams. i made it past the first round of trials for tanjong pagar fc. played one prime league game for balestier central fc and was later offered to train with balestier united fc (the sister club). i did not take up the offer, but in that short period of time, i learned that i was good enough. however, like jaz, i just didn’t like to train. we just loved to play. and what position did i play by that time? a stopper. My model: Alessandro Nesta. LESSON: TEST YOURSELF, STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

i turned out for a few social teams after that. i remember abang kassim’s team called marsiling forest, espzen’s tembusu fc, khai’s newton heath fc (where i got to know aki) and a few others unnamed ones. whenever i left, i took something away from each experience. it was only a few years ago when i got posted to evergreen primary school and was introduced to nahar by imran and ahmad. nahar was in the process of forming a new team and with nothing on the cards at the moment, i agreed to join. in my first game, i played at the back with abang sani. we won that game 4-3 with me making a crucial block in the last minute. the following year, northern redbacks football club was born. from that moment on, the rest as they say is history. LESSON: DIVERSIFY, BROADEN YOUR PERSPECTIVES

it’s funny that life has travelled a full circle for me, quite literally. I have played as a striker, right mid, left/right back, stopper, sweeper, defensive midfielder, left wing and now i’m back as a striker again. playing in every position has given me priceless knowledge of the game. being involved in the professional set-up (although brief) and social teams have shown me the finer aspects of player relationships: the chemistry and the politics. the most magical thing of all is that my lessons have transcended into my daily life. so much that i cannot imagine how my life would turn out if i did not have this sport.

Here are some lessons and principles i hold onto (in no particular order):
1- believe in yourself because you are the only one who always will.
2- know what you can do and do it well.
3- form is temporary, class is permanent.
4- play with an open mind and an open heart, only then will wisdom come in.
5- respect your teammates, officials and opponents.
6- don’t dwell on what you did badly, it will just cripple you.
7- enjoy every achievement, no matter how insignificant they might be.
8- give your all. it’s all about passion.
9- play with a smile on your face. in the end, it’s just a game.

9 principles of football for the ageless number 9.

i’ve been through a lot. the best thing of all, i’m still just 27! i should be at the peak of my game. oh well, the peak of a dude with a bad knee that is. haha. cherish every moment guys. life is too short to be upset about things. there’s more to life than football but gosh my life is mostly about football isn’t it?

Goals, celebrations and relaxation…

Just got home from football. Still have a bitter taste in my mouth. We did not deserve to lose that game. We had all the possession, all the chances, yet they scored from whatever little chances they had. Sometimes football is like that, you need an element of luck. Credit goes to Ventz for making the most of their chances. They can definitely go away from the game claiming a tactical triumph. It kinda reminded me of our performance against K-1-K, the one at Tampines where we won 2-0. I know how they must have been feeling after the game. Let’s hope that we produce a winning performance for our return leg against Ventz.

I might have scored a goal, but it’s kinda empty when your team loses. It was strange, possibly one of the easiest I have scored this season. When Mok played the through ball, I could see the keeper coming out. But I felt that he was going to fumble it. True enough, he did. How can I pass up on such a kind gesture. I had a scare when I saw Jaz rolling on the floor after hurting his knee. Luckily it wasn’t that bad and he was able to return to the game later. It was swelling a bit after the game. Better get some ice on it and rest bro.

Had mixed feelings when Azhar said that the team is not scoring because the combination of Ayyub and Kai was not performing. He remarked that the movement  and understanding had disappeared. One on hand, it was heartwarming to know that the Captain held our partnership in such high esteem. On the other hand, you feel upset because in a way, you’re not helping the team. I don’t really care if I don’t score, as long as the team wins. It led me thinking, what’s happening?

The only thing I can think of is that I’m not doing the runs I used to do. I used to run into space non-stop, hoping for a through ball to be played through. Nowadays I just sit with the last man. With no running, it seems I’m not pulling defenders away from Ayyub. Defenders then double up on Ayyub and no matter how skillful Ayyub is, he can’t be up against so many defenders right? It has to be it. It’s the only thing I have not been doing. Should not over-analyze though. When you think too much, you stop playing naturally. It’s just a bad patch and we’ll bounce back. I’m sure of it.

Tomorrow is Aidiladha. I forgot to do Qurban this year. Usually my parents will do it and I will just tag along. I didn’t know that my parents are not doing it this year. So silly me waited and waited and by the time I found out. It was too late. No matter. I’m aiming to do Qurban in Singapore next year. I have not done it before. Usually I do it in Malaysia or Indonesia. Just want a change plus there was something the Ustaz said in the morning sermon today that made me wanna do it. But that is another story for another entry.

Next Friday, I’m heading out to Kuala Lumpur! Gosh I’ve been dying for a break and finally, I’m getting it. The break will be good for me. I’m looking forward to some fun, lots of good food and perhaps a little bit of shopping. Never been big on shopping, but I’ve been wanting to get a new pair of shoes and some new tops for PE lessons next year.

To all Muslims, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha.