My life flashed before my very eyes…

I’ve been riding for about 5 years now. Never had any major accidents until today.

I was headed to the gym for my personal training appointment. All was well and I was just one junction away from reaching my destination. As I was making my way through it, I noticed a dark blue Toyota Wish coming from my left. I was not so bothered by it. There was no way the driver was going to be of any danger to me. Wrong.

He made a sudden right turn and inadvertently came into my lane. A turn he was never entitled to doing. Didn’t he know how to check for a blind spot? I sounded my horn and jammed the brakes but could not prevent the inevitable. Bang! Into the side of the car I went and then I was flung violently onto the road. My bike fell on top of me and I felt a stinging pain surge through my ankle. Ouch!

I just lay down groaning away, dazed. A million thoughts went through my head during the entire ordeal. Will I lose my leg? What will happen of my family? Will I see them ever again. I kept looking left and right, half-expecting someone to come and claim my soul. Someone came alright, but it was just a helpful bystander intent on getting me off the road before anything worse happened.

As I sat on the pavement trying to figure out what to do next and ignoring the pain in my ankle that won’t go away, I told myself, “There goes my season, looks like I have to settle for 10 goals this year.” I shook the thought out of my head. Gosh Kai, you almost died out there and the one thing you could think of is a football match?! The driver, a Malaysian, apologized profusely for his carelessness. A lady offered to call the ambulance for me, an offer I did not refuse. I could barely say a word. An effect of a mixture of excruciating suffering and immense shock. As the driver went back to his car to give me his particulars, a bystander told me to sue him for whatever he was worth, saying that he was definitely in the wrong and that I should teach him a lesson. I just sat in stunned silence.

“Patience, Kai. Just another of Allah’s tests,” a small voice within me spoke. I was surprised that I didn’t go ballistic on the man. Where was the anger, the expletives, the “I’ll kill you and your children, bastard!” attitude. They were not there and they never came. A part of me told me that Allah was teaching me another lesson. My mind wandered to all the things I have done in my life, the mistakes. The things that I didn’t do but should have. The things that I shouldn’t have but did anyway.

I didn’t know that the police would be automatically informed if I asked for an ambulance. Now, my bike is with the traffic police. Isn’t that every rider’s/driver’s nightmare? My ankle is in bandages, protecting the very deep gashes causing me all my misery. I’m $90 poorer but thankfully I will be able to claim the full amount from the Personal Accident Insurance Policy that I bought just a few months ago! Phew! All drivers and riders must get personal accident insurance! It should be made compulsory by law.

This experience has been an eye-opener for me. Considering the violent nature of the accident, I’m very fortunate that I escaped with minor injuries. Alhamdulliah. All praise is for Allah. Apparently, someone up there still loves me a lot. Another chance has been given for me to make changes to my life. Changes which are long overdue.

I shall remember this day, 23rd August 2008. Today was the day that Khairil Azar bin Abdul Rahim could have left this world. Just a week before Ramadhan too. I was just mentioning to my friend the other day, one who like me is looking forward to Ramadhan, thankful that we were lucky enough to be meeting it again. Me, the eternal optimist, said, “Don’t speak too soon man, we never know what will happen. Let’s just pray we do meet Ramadhan.” How ironic then that I had this close brush.

Last year at this time, my grandmother passed on to be with Allah Almighty.

This time, it could have been me instead….

SubbahanAllah…

Excuse me, are you a ROLE MODEL?

There has been an issue being hotly discussed in Berita Harian recently. The ingredients to the mix: teachers, parents, pupils, online profiles and inappropriate pictures. In a nutshell, some parents have highlighted that some teachers have not been projecting a good image of themselves by posting indecent photographs of themselves on their online profiles. For example, pictures of teachers frolicking in clubs, swigging hard liquor and hugging God knows who. There are also those who pose pictures of themselves hugging their significant other, half-dressed or otherwise, sharing wet kisses for the camera, posing underneath sheets. Wow, looks like teachers do have a life!

Being a digitally-connected society, it’s inevitable that your profile will be discovered. I have to say children these days are very technologically savvy. Before I made my Friendster profile known to my pupils, some of them were resourceful enough to find it. It’s not that difficult to find anyway, because I always use my name for my online profiles. Yeah, I’m proud of the name my parents gave me. Why shouldn’t I?

The aggrieved party has been quick to protest, “Hey! We’re human beings too! We have a right to live our own lives the way we want to. It’s not like the parents are angels themselves.”

To a certain extent, I agree and disagree. Yes, it’s our personal profile and it’s our right to post what we wish. However, on the other hand, as educators and people who impressionable young kids look up to, I believe we have a responsibility to potray good values whenever possible. That’s just part of the job description. Someone told me once that being a teacher is not a career, it’s a way of life. Children don’t look up to auditors, security guards or financial planners because it’s not their job to teach kids moral values. Think about it, teachers always tell kids to behave themselves, how to be gracious, not to drink or smoke. By posting pictures and writing blog entries about your clandestine activities, aren’t you being a hypocrite in the worst way possible? As for the children, they’d be thinking, “If Mr. Khairil can do it, so can I?” Just to demonstrate how highly pupils see us, on one of my ex-pupil’s profiles, there are pictures of just two men. One is me, the other is Taufik Batisah. I’m just as good as the Singapore Idol in her eyes!

Sometimes, I do think some people are just exhibitionists by nature. Why do you need to show the entire world that you engage in clubbing, boozing and casual fornication? To validate your lifestyle as being cool? By all means, go out and enjoy themselves. However, as Malay Muslim teachers (yes, that’s the group that the debate was centering on), there has to be some sort of liability on our part. Responsibility to our family, the pupils and ultimately to Allah.

It’s true what some people say, the Malay Muslims have lowered themselves to such a level. One of my friends, who is not a Muslim has this to say:

“Wah, you Muslims ah seem to have a lot of fun this day. Happening sia. You guys pray five times a day and still can check in to Hotel 81 and have one night stands.”

I would have smacked him for his blunt insolence. But, I’m never the type to disagree with facts.

An Enriching Day

Things have been boring at home since my parents are not around. They are away in Malacca for yet another honeymoon. It’s good to know that they still know how to spice up their life even into their golden years.

Thankfully, my days are pretty busy as it is. Had to wake up early to work on my slides for my individual presentation at uniSIM later in the day. The presentation went well. I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of most of the speeches. There’s great potential to get members to form a toastmasters club of my own. My tutor was kind enough to tell me that I was one of the best speakers around and that others should aim to “emulate” me.

Had lunch with Niza at Clementi. The Thaksin Beef Noodle did not taste as good as it usually does. Niza said it’s so hard to find good food these days. I could just nod my head in silent agreement. I was just enjoying a quiet lunch with someone for once. It’s been so long since I had such eating sessions.

We headed back to Woodlands and headed to MINDS. I didn’t know why I told Niza that I was interested to go to MINDS with her. When she told me she was volunteering there, something just moved within me. I’ll be the first to admit that people with disabilities made me feel uncomfortable. Not because they disgusted me, but they made me conscious of myself. I feel inadequate compared to them for I do not make the most of my able-bodied life.

When I walked to MINDS with some of the trainees, I can’t help but feel tickled by one of them, Kai Mun. He kept telling me that he wanted to see the doctor and that he wanted a big injection. He kept asking me where was the doctor and I just smiled and told him to keep going until he reached MINDS. Niza remarked that it seems Kai Mun had taken a certain liking for me. True enough, he continued searching me out throughout the day, sitting down for a chat and showing me the craft that he did.

When they had a sing-along session, I just stood at the back observing proceedings. Some of the senior volunteers came to me and explained the work that they did at the centre. They must have sensed my discomfort and tried to put me at ease. Was I ever grateful for that. I truly admire the work that these volunteers do, especially the students from NTU who are regulars. When others their age are more concerned about what movie to watch and shopping for the latest clothes and gadgets, they are spending their Saturdays with these special people. How I admire them.

As I warmed up, I began to get a little involved, playing a game of trees and squirrels with them. All the kneeling gave my bad knee a terrible ache, but at the end of it all, seeing their smiling faces was worth it. As they sat down for their arts and craft session, I took the opportunity to sit down with Niza and share with her my thoughts of the day. Every person I met that day enriched my life one way or another. For that, I cannot be grateful enough.

However, the one gesture that took the cake came from a little lady named Akari, a Japanese. Every trainee was supposed to make a simple flower and present it to their “teachers” aka the volunteers. I didn’t interact much with her except playing the game with her, but somehow, she gave her flower to me.

The day turned out better than I expected. I learned so much and my eyes were truly opened. I look forward to returning back to MINDS whenever I have free time on Saturdays. To the caregivers, you are doing a great job and I wish you all the success in the future. You are truly inspiring!