Rolling back the years…

Yesterday it happened again. I scored.. again! Either I’ve been really lucky or I am getting better at being a striker. Nah, it’s neither really. Allah has been kind enough to bless me with the opportunity and capability to score the goal. This was how it happened.

I saw some action unfolding near the penalty area. Looking around for a good position to be in, I decided against it since it was already packed in the box. Just stood near the edge of the penalty area. Somehow, something inside of me told me to stay put. Azhar whacked and the shot was blocked. The ball bounced out towards me. Fighting the urge to rush my shot, I waited for the ball to bounce and fall nicely and I met it with a sweet half-volley. I saw the ball cross the line and rest in the bottom corner of the net. Euphoric!

Scoring a goal always brings an adrenaline rush unlike any other. Considering I was half-dead and nursing a pulled calf muscle, I somehow forgot about them when I embarked on my celebratory dash across the pitch. At that moment, there was no pain from the calf and there was no worry about tweaking my knee. All I felt was happiness and unbridled joy. I let out a huge shout as if expelling all the demons that have been wreaking havoc in my life lately. As a result, now my calf muscle is pulled stiff and hard and my left knee is aching like hell. Was it all worth it? Of course!

In retrospect, it’s easy to realize how the simple things in life can bring you so much happiness. Allah’s gifts are so great. The gift of happiness. People go their entire lives trying to attain their definition of happiness. Car, condo, cash and all things that every person dreams of having but somehow they forget that true happiness comes in the simplest things.

Seeing a firstborn brought into this world. Seeing your parents smile when you buy them simple gifts or take them out to dinner. Sitting down for a simple meal with your loved ones. Having a good day at work and sharing jokes with your colleague. Appreciating the blessings you have with a best mate. Scoring goals at a point of time when you feel your playing days are over. People look to hard, but the fact is happiness is easy to find.

If we only choose to open our eyes big enough. SubbahanAllah.

The Importance of Patience

Have you ever been faced with a difficulty in your life? I’m sure all of us have. How does being in such a situation make you feel? Upset? Disappointed? Angry? It’s natural to feel that way isn’t it?

I had to go through a comedy of errors last night. I was at ECP, playing futsal at the artificial turf pitches. When we were going to leave, I discovered that my cashcard had insufficient funds to exit. Actually I knew I did not have enough. Was planning to top it up anyway. Unfortunately there was no top-up station nearby, so my bro Fadly drove me to the nearest ATM. Upon my arrival at the POSB ATM at McDonald’s, I found out much to my horror, that the screen of the ATM was not working. Headed to 7-11, no problems there.

When I got back and happily inserted the cashcard into the reader, I realize, much to my dismay, that I had topped up the wrong cashcard. Rinse and repeat the process with the correct card. Happy that nothing could possibly go wrong, I tried inserting the card into the reader again. Somehow, the machine conspired to experience a system error and as a result, I had to pay for my parking in cash. $25 blown on a parking issue. Sweet.

Through this entire time, Jaz and I were laughing at the whole situation. I was lamenting most of the time. Had I gone through such an experience many years back, I would have hurled out various expletives that would equate me to a bonafide English football hooligan. Thankfully, I was able to keep my cool. I could have done something truly Singaporean though. Complain about the substandard parking service on STOMP. Haha. In my mind and my heart, it was just a test from Allah. As a Muslim, I need to accept it readily and be patient.

The theme was repeated to me at this morning’s sermon. The ustaz preached that those who are patient in accepting Allah’s tests would be rewarded. There was one point he made that made me ponder a few things. He said, “Most people, when faced with adversity, would hurl out vulgarities and all sorts of unpleasant words. It would be much better if they could say this instead: La hawlawah kuwatailla billa…” In essence, we are just thinking of Allah when bad things happen.

Those words struck a chord in me. I look back at a time of my life when I was forever cursing and swearing at the slightest thing. Found it cool back then. Everyone else was doing it. Thankfully, I don’t curse that much anymore. You need to be wary of your language around kids. However, I think of my friends who never break out of that habit. In fact, some have even ‘upgraded’ their skills, if you get what I mean. It just dawned upon me that this is another way Iblis and his syaitan-syaitan are trying to nudge Adam’s children to the path of destruction. When we face problems, we curse and swear and we never remember Allah. Mission accomplished.

I was out with a new acquaintance the other day and as we were traveling, this car swerved into my lane and almost caused an accident. Remarking on the way I reacted to it, “You’re a patient man, Kai.” I suppose she must have heard countless people curse an offending driver. When she asked me how I deal with it, I just told her that I’m not going to gain anything from being angry.

Alhamdullilah, I’m reaping the benefits. My eyes have just begun to be opened…

Ask and you shall receive

I heard those words from a Financial Mastery Quotient workshop conducted by Jaz a few weeks back. However, they were uttered by his unit manager, Abang Zai. He said that Allah is always willing to give to his devotees. The problem is that we never ask for it from Him. He observed that even non-Muslims engage in prayers to their respective Gods and ask for all sorts of things. I always found Abang Zai to be charismatic and motivational. Hey, he has achieved a lot in his life as a financial planner and I rate him as one of the few Malay dudes who we can take example from. Those words continue to ring in my mind. I realize that I have not been asking for much from Allah in my prayers. So I thought, since there’s nothing to lose and everything to gain, why not give it a shot?

I started asking for a few things lately. Peace of mind and heart, to be kept away from temptation of sin, forgiveness for self and family, blessings in life, intelligence and development of my pupils. I don’t know if the prayers reaffirm my desires in my day-to-day living, but I am sensing and noticing little changes in my life. Things seem to be getting better. Alhamdullilah.

There is one bad habit that I do though. When things are going well in life, I always forget Him. Sad isn’t it? We always remember God and believe in faith in times of turmoil and need. But when we’re living it, we’re not thankful for the blessing He has given us. Whatever it is that I have, or don’t have in life, every test and trial and every happiness and sadness comes from Allah, be it a gift or an examination of faith.

To take a quote from the movie Kung Fu Panda, “What is the secret of life? The secret is there is no secret. He has always been there for us. We’re just too blind to notice his presence. Why are we not thankful for what we have?”

Now, I just need to remember to pray and ask to meet a good wife…

the only thing certain in life is uncertainty

finally… the rock has come back to evergreen primary!

yes my days of relaxation has officially come to an end. not that it has been too relaxing anyway. is it weird that i actually enjoyed coming back to school? didn’t realize i’d miss my little babies that much. i had a full attendance in class today. a rarity. i hope it continues.

i tried to infuse the performing arts into my lesson today. used simple movements to teach the kids decimals. think it turned out pretty well. everyone seemed comfortable with the concept. i suppose the acid test will be the homework i assigned them just now. let’s hope for many beautiful ticks. let’s kick the crosses out of the assignments!

there was a fantastic opportunity to round off last week with what would have been one of the greatest goals i ever scored. i attempted to chip the keeper from more than 30 metres out. the ball bounced off the crossbar and went into goal and came back out. my teammates said it crossed the line, even the opposing goalie’s reaction confirmed the goal. unfortunately a certain fat and ugly referee refused to award the goal. all in the game. there will always be great, legitimate goals that are disallowed. somehow that gave me a sinking feeling about how italy were going to fare in their match with spain. (more on that later)

talking about superheroes, i can’t wait for the movie hancock to be released. imagine if i had superhero abilities. will smith will be a gem in this movie as always. it’s an interesting idea. a superhero who is so reviled and hated by others. it goes against all the social norms that have been set.

talking about movies, anyone caught don’t mess with the zohan yet? it’s superb. i was laughing my head off in the theatre. some “refined” singaporeans, at least they felt they were, could not appreciate adam sandler’s brand of humour and have waved it off as a silly movie. whatever people. if you can’t say anything good, i suggest you don’t say anything at all.

my goodness, italy have been knocked out of euro 2008. i woke up to catch part of the second half. with extra time looming, i had a choice between sitting it out to catch a very-likely penalty shootout or catch up on some sleep before i officially start work. i opted for the latter. woke up a few hours later to find out italy lost in the shootout. so spain have broken their quarter-final curse. all’s well. i have to admit italy under donadoni aren’t as effective and efficient as lippi’s team. i’m sure most italy fans were not confident of success in the euros. at least they made it to the quarters, unlike the much-hyped ingerlund.

i think that should be enough for now. taking a break from setting an exam paper. supposed to have submitted it for vetting today, but my HOD was kind enough to grant me an extension until the end of the week. crazy work to be done in an insane amount of time. to all those aspiring to be teachers, think hard before committing to this career. you have to take the good with the bad. it’s a labour of love. it’s not just work, but a way of life. it will be a difficult one, but if you stick through it, the rewards will make everything worth it.

have a great week and may Allah bless your lives always.

a full day

is a day well spent. when i woke up this morning i admit i didn’t feel like dragging myself to river valley. somehow i convinced myself that it was for my own good. was impressed with the workshop. i feel it was much better than the last one i attended and abang zai and his crew did an excellent job in replicating the game. i shall not mention what game was replicated so as to protect people from potential copyright lawsuits.

jaz is really beginning to look the part as a professional trainer and speaker. if only he could be more organized, he would be able to accelerate his development and really fly. that’s jaz for you, always spontaneous and off-the-cuff. it’s so hard to keep up with his thoughts and ideas, he churns them out like a well-oiled machine. i’m just thankful i am able to share the journey with him. the recently concluded entrepreneurship program conducted at madrasah aljunied left me with a sanguine feeling. things are moving, albeit slowly, but moving nonetheless.

i’m going to sleep early tonight. no xboxing and no good euro 2008 match to look forward to. just wanna rise early tomorrow and attend the morning sermon at the mosque. have not gone there for some time and i have not felt complete lately. maybe a little spiritual pick-me-up will do the trick.

waiting for exam results to be released have been irritating. it’s not driving me nuts but you can’t help but feel nervous especially when you know you did not do particularly well in one of the subjects. i just wanna get the anxiety over with so i can focus on getting back to work at peace. yeah, in case you didn’t realize, the june school holidays are coming to a close and soon i’ll be back doing what i do best. i miss my pupils. i wonder if they missed me. haha, once i get started, they’re gonna wish they were back enjoying the holidays again.

i’m cooling off women for now. many things have happened lately which tells me my system is acting a little weird. i seem to be pissing off too many people, without realizing what is it that i did. i am a little thick, but some cases have been really perplexing. there was this participant at the workshop today who was quite cool, worth knowing. even liza nudged me to try my luck. however i can’t help but shake my head and tell her i didn’t wish to. i need to be away from women for now. for the benefit of the women. not until i take care of a few loose ends in my mind and my heart.

no azam and no azhar for soccer tomorrow. ayyub and fauzi and certain absentees too. i’ve been put in charge of the team and my immediate worry is that whether there will be enough players to play ball tomorrow. i better have some cash on standby. chances are i’ll need to top up with my own money. just praying for another fun and more importantly, safe game.

that’s the way to complete a week.

things just don’t make sense

there are so many words and thoughts swirling around in my head right now i don’t even know where to start. perhaps this equation with some philosophy can help you get a grasp of what’s going on.

people say that having a family brings you happiness, therefore
family = happiness

then, another person say that you need to have money order to start a family.
family = money

am i right to deduce then that
money = happiness?

i think money turns me off. i don’t earn that much money as a teacher, despite what many people think. i barely take home $2000 per month. it’s not a big deal that i don’t have much money, i rather have a happy life. but people around me keep making it a big deal. when it comes to conversations, the same questions are asked and the same statements are made.

“how much money do you make?”
“what car/motorcycle do you drive/ride?”
“how much did you spend renovating your place.”
“i want a grand wedding.”
“i want to be financially free.”

it’s always the same, it sickens me. everything in life has to do with money.

it’s a fact that nobody can run away from. i have friends who are obsessed with making more money. it’s not wrong to want more from life and be better right? does being rich make you a better person though? i’m very confused about it all. so what if you don’t earn a lot, does that mean you’re lesser as a person.

people tell me not to be affected by what people think about me and just live my life the way i want. but it’s so difficult when it’s everywhere around you. you can’t ignore it. it’s a social norm that will never change.

i think things would be better if i was happy.

some sobering numbers.

i knew i was getting fat when some friends (who i have not met for some time) remarked on the amount of weight that i put on yesterday. one dude complimented me on my man-breasts while another praised me for having a well-developed laughing buddha-like tummy. maybe the top i was wearing yesterday was giving away too much.

the visit to the gym today confirmed the remarks. after spending a few minutes being analyzed by a $17,000 machine, i officially know now that i have 21kg of fat in me. for a person of my build, i should have only 11kg of fat to be considered safe. that means i’ll have to find a way to lose 10kg. i actually put on weight over the past few months. i learned that i’m a stress eater. i eat to find comfort, which is most of the time. i recall a few weeks towards the end of the term, i was gorging myself silly, trying to cope with the mental and at times, emotional stress that i have been experiencing.

bad habits die hard. i need to fix this. i read articles in the paper and i know i’m definitely at risk of contracting serious ailments if i continue to pay little care to my weight. in fact, i was out of breath today just by climbing a flight of stress. seriously panting and my heart was pumping as though it was going to explode! i am worried. i’m so worried that i’m thinking of eating a bar of chocolate to soothe the jangled nerves. see what i mean? stress eater!

lifestyle adjustment starts now. no more fried food, no more snacking, low salt and low sugar. most importantly, i need to engage myself in physical exercise for at least 30 minutes everyday.

i don’t want to die before i reach 40!